Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize