Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
