He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
