The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
