I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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