I'm eating all of the evidence.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
