why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My balls are so social today.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
