sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
