I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
