Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
