thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
