I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
