just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
