Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize