the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
