apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize