just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
