We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
