People with herpes should wear stickers.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
our cab driver is having phone sex.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
