new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
