Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So much rum. So many feels.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
