it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
