I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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