My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
