my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
