dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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