youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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