I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize