If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
