They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
