I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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