Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
