she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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