arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
