Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
