I'm drive I can fine osifer
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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