this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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