dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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