Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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