Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
