vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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