I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize