So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
