Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
