there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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