i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Please, let me fuck your mom
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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