I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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