??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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