No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
