I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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