i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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