Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
