Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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