Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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