sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
