sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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