I'm drive I can fine osifer
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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