I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
